New definitions sent by maha2 in S’pore

Cigarette = A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with fire at one end and a fool on the other.

 Father = A bank provided by nature.

 Etc = A sign to make other believe that you know more than you actually do.

Opportunist = A person who starts taking a bath if he accidentally falls into a river.

Optimist = A person who while falling from Eiffel tower says in midway “See , I’m not injured yet”.

 Compromise = The art of dividing the cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece.

 Conference room = A place where everybody talks, nobody listens and everybody disagree later on.

 Office = A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.

Experience = The name, men give to their mistakes.

 Doctor = A person who kills your ills by pills , and kills you with his bills.

Divorce = A future tense of marriage.

 Criminal = A guy no different from the rest, except that he got caught.

 Diplomat = A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you actually look forward to the trip.

 Committee = Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together.

Conference = The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.

~ by bestmandalay on April 20, 2007.